His Devil, Confused
by loveinchaos
Summary: In serving Ciel's more basic needs, Sebastian has experienced something strange and only his fellow kin could possibly understand. the only problem with talking with Devils is... well, their so damn immoral. A slash that isn't that much about the sex of it. Oneshot.


If you can dangle a single thread of hope before their demise they will invariably grasp it, whatever the consequences. And so Ceil Phantomhive had.

Ceil Phantomhive had not been motivated to summon Sebastian by power, nor money, nor disgrace. He had simply wanted to live. A rare case but not unheard of, they were the masters who devils often referred to as Sleepers due to the fact that they usually used their acquired powers for self preservation and often died content in old age. But Ceil led an incredibly active lifestyle, so whether he would survive to reach a Sleeper death was beyond Sebastian's calculations. That's why it's so fun.

On the eve of Ceil Phantomhive's 17th birthday the devil and the millionaire performed the single most common sin commited of the falsely faithfull. They enjoyed bodily pleasures without marriage. A big deal to the church but not so much in the manor. What the nuns who occasionally came by asking for donations would call unforgivable sin was what Sebastian called: having sex in the basement… again. But something out of the ordinary happened that night. Something so disturbing that At 3 in the morning Sebastian Michealis left Phantomhive manor, flew over the country side, and ran across the rooftops of south London. There, atop a crematorium, he spots 3 figures of other devils, all of whom simply came to momentarily escape of their own masters, all of whom happen to be residing in London. The 3 all sat in a semi circle inhaling the smoke of the dead and relaxing. As Sebastian got closer the figure of a fourth devil came into focus and it was at the moment reveling in the ash and smoke coming from one of the Crematorium's chimney. It stood dead center in the smoke so that no details could be made out. Among his kin, Sebastian looked the most refined and distinguished, but he was** not** the most powerful nor the wisest. Aware of this, he bowed to all of them.

"Brothers… Sister" he bowed again before sitting down, joining their semicircle facing the nearest chimney. They acknowledge him and one passed him a flask. He took one sip before passing it to the old devil next him. Savoring the flavor, he ventures a guess, "Vodka, lemonade, and tears of regret?"

"Tears of bitter loneliness," replied the oldest devil who had made himself out to look like a hobo, "But that's close."

It wasn't long until the group had all basked in the ashes of of the recently deceased before they began complaining of their masters and tossed old stories of past adventures. The one in the column of smoke did not emerge, according to the she devil he was trying to clense away something holy he'd ingested that day. Trying to top each other in the lengths they had gone on human whims. When he discerned that everyone was suitably drunk and high off ashes Sebastian finally asked, "What of sexual deviations?"

The following story from the devil disguised as a newspaper boy was incredibly disgusting and will not be included here. The rest laughed at it. The hobo shared one misadventure that dated back to the invention of the vibrator. And the one in the fire poked her head out, it was guised as a very young blonde in a stolen nuns habit, and shared a story that was with vibrators but without batteries.

The she-devil that sat to his left shared no story but instead asked, "why do you bring this up?"

"Well, I have just today experienced a deviation that did not go to plan…"

The newspaper boy who looked about 12 said in his intoxicated stuper, "Nehver bell-eve da human if they say yourrr perfurmance was lacking. What Dat relly means is that dey wanted something diff'rent but they don't know it yet."

The faux nun nodded which caused her to stagger out of the smoke, "Humans never actually know what they want."

The Hobo blinked blearily, "Let 'im say what 'appened."

Fairly sure that they would all forget this discussion by morning Sebastian settled in to tell them everything.

"It was purely textbook. A bed, a master, no one else in the house to be awakened. A quickie to get him to fall asleep faster."

The faux nun said, "jus' head should suffice that." And she was shushed by the hobo.

"Perhaps, yes but my master has a slight kink about that."

"Only slight? Said the hobo disbelievingly.

Sebastian smiled, "He was a Sleeper."

Stretched out "Oh's" chorused from the devils and the she-devil who had been quietly sitting to his left finally sat up in interest.

Sebastian was usually lecherously dramatic in the telling of his own stories but this was rather embarrassing. "So we were facing each other, with him on the receiving end but every time just before he is about to… reach completion."

"nice way to say to mess up your top."

"Or bleach your teeth-"

Shush!- this time it came from the She-devil to the left.

"IN ANY CASE, he always kisses me… on the mouth, no toungue, but not a peck- before he reaches completion, the boy's got little stamina so he usually knocks out after that."

The old devil raised his hand, "wait a moment, you've been his butler how long? And he still has low stamina?"

"He asks it of me only on what he deams to be special occasions-"

The she-devil gasps a little and the newspaper boy tilts his head in confusion. With a burp the newsboy asks, "But don't he bed anywan else?"

"No." Then Sebastian sees that now all of them are staring at him slightly slack jawed. Except for the She-Devil to the left, she was looking into the distance as if remembering something and was clutching at some string around her neck.

"I don't believe it." Said the faux nun.

And Sebastian feeling a self conscious around his own kin amended, "My mistake, he does after all have a fiancé."

They all nodded and resettled into normalcy while Sebastian privately wondered if his young master actually slept with Elizabeth. _Probably, I mean he should. But… I haven't seen any proof of it. He might be protecting her from that until marriage- wait no. Because Elizabeth lost her virginity already. Last Christmas, when she visited I could smell it. I assumed it was to the young master but … I didn't smell him on her. I know she started dating other men to get Ceil jealous but then things got serious with Finny… And since she's had quite a few boyfriends. And I still don't think I've once smelled him on her. In fact I would say she treats him more like a friend- perhaps a brother- these days. Is it really so unusual to only sleep with your devil- well yes. You're a soul who called forth a devil, sins of the flesh are your bread and butter. So who else does Ceil sleep with? It can't be Mey-Rin. Unless she was using those rifles for something else… and even then he wouldn't trust her accuracy close up. Balto? Just unlikely, he's too stupid. Pluto… maybe. Maybe- that stupid miserable half breed mut-_

"OY! Yer story! It was getting interestin' tew!" It was the newspaper boy and finding that his audience was finally all ears Sebastian cleared his throat.

"well. Lets see. So he has this habit, right? A kiss during his ecstacy which I didn't find that odd. He is such an adventurous and experimental boy, so he asked for variety often. But no matter what the position we'd had, he'd always twist around and kiss me before he finished. It's when we were getting a bit more radical that I really noticed it, and I asked him about it. He said, "Every human has their unexplainable needs. Some want to hurt people, some want to help. If there was a god then only he would know why people do the things they do. So understand, Sebastian. This is mine."

So we left it at that. Anyway the night in question, well last night as it occurred before midnight. I didn't let him kiss me. I don't know why, it was just… an impulse. We were in the position known as doggy style and to raise it up knotch I dragged him backward so that his elbows slipped out from under him. I rose and lifted his legs up. So I was up on my knees and really driving him down into the bed. "

'Oh, woof." Said the faux nun. And Sebastian noticed that the newsboy had begun touching himself slowly. Sebastian nodded to both of them, this was considered a complement here.

The old devil smiled wickedly at the boy and gesturing to the newsboy and Sebastian he suggested, "Care to demonstrate?"

"no." Sebastian said with his usual polite closed smile, "but do feel free to re-enact among yourselves."

The faux nun immediately jumped up, ripped off her habit and changed her guise. She turned into a man, in a suit like sebastian's but the hair was a bit bulky like a wig and the she-devil's face was still her own.

The newsboy was obviously too impatient to bother changing anything and simply ripped himself out of his pants. The old devil chuckled, content to watch from where he was.

Sebastian too watched, the proportions were a bit accurate to when he had first met Ciel and back when Ciel was in constant denial of his innocence. Back then he had gotten a kick out of suggestively performing his duties and make offers of further services. And back then the boy would stutter and blush, a lovely shade of pink. A reaction Sebastian missed since these days if he teased Ciel like that the young man could now successfully ignore it, roll his eyes, then take advantage of the idea only when it suited him.

Soon the resemblance to Ceil and himself came to an end as soon as the two devils started going at it. There was too much swearing and taunts involved and in order to prevent visible bruising, Sebastian had never been as rough with Ceil as their current cosplayers were now.

Somebody tugged on his lapel and when he looked it was the she devil to his left. Her legs were crossed and facing him, she tilted her head like a bird, "What happened next?"

Sebastian turned to her, ignoring the shinanigans of the other rather intoxicated devils and tilted his own head, "Why are you so much more interested than the rest?"

She huffed. "You came here for advice, didn't you?"

Sebastian sighed, this she devil was somehow still sober and he had rather hoped to talk to somebody without having to trust them. "So… we were in that position that they're more or less doing now." He gestured at the performance by the two devils but she wrinkled her nose at them in disgust. Apon a 2nd glance he too found it overly obsene. There was much overly theatric grabbing of privates and lines such as "take me harder" and "oh, yeah, you feel soo tight" and "take responsibility for your actions." It was just all so distasteful. Sebastian was beginning to find it sickening… that too was probably unusual for a devil.

"HEY." Said the She Devil, smacking his shoulder. "you keep on saying you two were having sex, you never get to what went wrong."

Sebastian squirmed a little where he sat and said to the air above her head, "He was getting ready to ejaculate… and I could feel it and I knew the kiss was coming. But I didn't let him turn around. I taunted him, I just wanted to stretch it out- force him to order me to kiss him… but he never did. I thought he was just too proud to say the words but when he 'came' without kissing me, he … started crying. And his face… he looked so shaken, and I hadn't seen him cry in… oh, maybe three years. I tried to tune into his emotion and I got… heartbreak. It was so pure and beautiful and strong and, and… I couldn't help myself. I…" And Sebastian gestured with a gloved hand the release and like he'd been dreading, her eyes widened in surprise.

"And you felt like you had no control over it?"

He let out a slow breath and shook his head. The she-devil smiled but not as if she would taunt him, as if she actually understood. "So what happened next?"

"Well it startled him out of his heartbreak. Ha scrambled away from me and left the room with a "that'll be all." As if nothing had happened."

"I see…" the she-devil smiled and patted Sebastian on the shoulder. "do not be frightened."

In context this made sense. Because devils didn't have sex for pro-creation. Their semen was fruitless they unless a human master desired it to be otherwise. In olden days that was a more common request. 'Sleep with my enemies wife and have her give birth to a monster' really barbaric stuff like that.

Actually devils didn't even have sex among themselves for procreation or pleasure. Among kin it was treated like a sport. A sport that every devil with a human would have to play, perhaps to fill an immoral master's desires or to retrieve vital information. It was a common request and so the immortal beings had acquired quite exact control over it all. Sebastian could make his 'parts' rise, fall, and ejaculate like he was using his hand to wield a pen. And he wasn't even the most accomplished on this rooftop. So loosing control… that was rare. And it did frighten him. _What if something was Wrong with him? What if something dangerous, like some holy spirit was poisoning him from the inside?_

"Nothing is wrong with you."

_Had he been thinking out loud?_

"This isn't a mistake. It's an opportunity."

Sebastian stopped breathing, not that he really needed air, and looked at her inquisitively.

"Let me show you something" Like kids on a playground they huddled together both focusing on what Sebastian had thought was a string around her neck. It was a pendant. A sealed compact hardly larger than a Euro coin in a silver chain. "Touch it." She said.

Removing his right glove with his teeth, Sebastian stretched out a single finger to trace the engraved circles on the compact's face.

He felt a shock bolt from his nail up his arm. Circling his shoulder before fading to a buzz at the base of his neck. He withdrew immediately. After a while he relaxed and he felt his hair slowly settle back in place. "What was that?"

The she-devil smiled and rubbed the compact affectionately. "Inside here are the Ashes of my master. From Lifetimes ago, I mean, he was a Sleeper. You know, another one of those who formed a contract to save a life, nothing like my master now."

The she-devil spat in disgust and out of sheer habit Sebastian offered her a handkerchief. Startled she blinked at the offered cloth before laughing. " This master of yours really has got you Invested in your cover, huh?"

Sebastian passed a glance at the other devils on the rooftop, still occupied with each other, and inclined his head. "I... am just a butler."

She smiled and then it faded to a frown and Sebastian felt a warmth from her. She was feeling compassion for him. which was odd since he'd only ever felt that warmth radiate from humans and even then rarely. who was this woman?

"Perhaps that is part of your problem." She said.

Sebastian's brows pulled up in confusion, "excuse me?"

she looked at him and then looked to the sky. "well lets see. I suppose first things first. when I was with my sleeper master all those lifetimes ago... it was to save a life."

"Sounds very standard."

"Yes, but it was not His life that I was to save." and then she mimicked a voice. Devils can make near perfect imitations and so Sebastian heard a man of a young age speaking in Vulgar Latin, "Please, my wife has passed in childbirth and now my son is starving without her milk." The She devil sighed, "And this was of course so much time ago, none of these stores where you could get anything any day. And he couldn't afford a wet nurse. Anyway I saved his sons life and joined his side to carry out the rest of the contract. And this is where you are at a disadvantage. your master keeps you in the guise of a butler."

Sebastian straightened, slightly indignant, "I assure you, I am one devil of a butler."

"I do not doubt your skills. But he has placed you in such a role so that it would never be appropriate for him to be with you, even to be seen with you in a suggestive manner is out of the question. And so he is placed... out of your reach."

Sebastian suddenly couldn't look the she-devil in the eye, looking instead at chimneys or the moon. she chuckled and when he looked up to glare at her a thought popped into his head. "Are you saying that with your former master was not out of your reach?"

She shook her head, her eyes fogging with memory and a smiled twitching at the corner of her mouth, "Because it wasn't seemly for a woman to be following him around so much... so I took the form of his wife. Word hadn't traveled of her death yet. And there wasn't these inaccurate obituaries that keep saying the person was beloved or mourned. Puh-lease."

Sebastian and the She-devil shared a cackle at that and she continued, "So, where was I? Oh, yes, posing as a dead woman. Not too difficult actually. It had been a marriage of convenience and her family was very stupid. Gaius's family was a bit harder to fool... they knew something had changed but they seemed to prfer me to the old one. So A spell here, a charm there. I made sure his business flourished and soon we could have guests over. For appearances he said he loved me. I'm his wife, makes sense. but then he began to say it in private... I wanted to assume it was for the child's sake but Gaius started saying it at the most... private of moments. So I acknowledged it but ...I thought it was a fondness for one's dog, perhaps love for a friend. The only time I somewhat believed him was when he asked to make love to me. Never did he order it of me, he asked."

the she devil looked at him pointedly and Sebastian's hair stood on end, he began to tug harshly on his cuff links. He even faced the devils who were busy fucking around to try and distract himself. but when he looked back at her, the truth was still staring him in the face. "So... so... you believe that my Master's... habit- the kiss before ecstacy... is a tell that he... he-"

"Loves you?"

Sebastian humphed, trying to hold onto his disbelief, but all the other little habits started to rise in his memory and were slowly falling into place. _No, it couldn't be. But I am the only one he sleeps with. but no! But he holds our time together in high regard. Special events provide good cover for such things! Be reasonable! But- it's not, well... Oh hell. I cannot face this demon now. What about..." _The Ashes."

"Hn?"

"Tell me about the ashes. that electric trill..."

The she devil smiles and takes the ashes from around her neck and pushes it over to Sebastian. Sebastian approaches it warily but when he touches it, he feels nothing. He picks it up. Nothing. Then, the she-devil reaches over and puts a hand on Sebastian's arm. Like a completed circuit the air around them seems to buzz and Sebastian can feel the energy building into heat in his hand. The she-devil pulled back and Sebastian let out a gasp. Much longer like that and they could have powered a light bulb. And was it always this hot up here? He thought they had distanced themselves from the chimney.

She smiles, "It only reacts like that for me. It's stronger when I think of him. you see, I began to believe he loved me so... I told him I loved him back."

Sebastian grimaced, "We are devils. we cannot love. It is an extension of faithlessness... Or so I had assumed." he said, looking at the ashes doubtfully.

The She-devil shrugged her shoulders and held out her hand for her husband's ashes. Sebastian felt another pinprick, a spark as he passed it back to her. She looked warily at the other devils before continuing, "I think I did love him. and that has survived, even beyond his death. I can feel how much he loved me and my love completed the circuit. yes, it should be impossible. But there it is."

she leaned forward and in the shadow of a whisper, "you have an opportunity. You have a spark. And if you could play your card right, you could keep it."

Sebastian felt doubt already begin to douse his mind but the craving for a spark of his own was already inside him. Sebastian rose to his feet, suddenly anxiouse to return to his master, to his home. The she-devil rose to her feet to, stringing the ashes once again around her neck. It made her glow with a power that none of the other devils had... why hadn't he noticed that? The power to dissapear from focus, even among your kin, what human could grant her such power in one lifetime?

"You're husbands name was Gaius... correct?"

"And our son, his name was Julius. Such a fine boy..."

"Yes, I'm sure." said Sebastian, mentally searching for the names of the sorcerer's of old. Perhaps that would explain it... there was a Gaius Gollemn during King Arthur's time...

"Tell me... what was your husband's last name?" He asked, trying to be casual.

"Ceasar."

The dumbstruck look on Sebastian's face set loose from her a host of wicked giggles.

"Did you not say... your son was named Julius?" he said rather bug-eyed.

She shrugged, "So?"

"Then you..."

She smiled again, her eyes clouded with memory, and he thought he recognized the name on her lips, and with that buzz of power still emanating around her ...disappeared. No puff of smoke or flying through the air, she could simply vanish. What power. Sebastian shivered.

Then turning toward the north, Sebastian coiled his muscles like a cat about to pounce and flew through the air. He leapt with a new speed, propelled by a new fire inside of him. It felt like just a heartbeat and he was home, another beat and he was before his master's bedroom door. There he hesitated. Was this new drive... _love? Could he love? No... yes? Did he just think he was in love? Was there a difference? No. Yes. _

Sebastian opened the door quietly, he saw a quick tug of blankets over a glossy head of hair. "I know your awake..."

Slowly the young master sat up. _did ceil love him? No. oh..._

Ciel's eyes were puffy around the edges and a single tear caught the dim light from the lashes below his Covenant Eye.

_oh... yes. yes, he did._

Ciel's voice was horse and his manner curt, "You're the one that woke me. What do you want?"

In the blink of a camera lense, Sebastion was by Ciel's side and leaning over him.

"Wha-"

A simple kiss, no tongue but not a peck. And as Sebastian pulled away he felt that one trapped tear being wiped away by his withdrawing cheek. He looked at Ciel expectantly. there was a long silence before a quavering complaint filled the dark. "I asked for that **Hours** ago."

"Do forgive me, sir. It took just a bit longer than expected."

Ciel sniffed as if offended and then pulled back, wrinkling his nose, "You smell of ash... and a funeral balm."

"A most necessary detour, I assure you."

Ciel scowled or tried to but Sebastian leaned in again and his breath caught in his throat. Sebastian began to nudge Ciel to the side so that he could join him in his queen sized bed. "You... devil. Simply -ahh- lecherous." Ciel shuddered as another kiss was planted on his ear and arms and legs found their way under him and over him.

Letting out a contented sigh, Sebastian closed his eyes. "Yes, My Lord." Ciel's fingers began to intertwines absently between Sebastian's and they both felt something... a slight spark.


End file.
